HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

It's my birthday yay! I'm 18 now! WOO. I don't feel that much different.

Anyways short post because I got other things to do. :( Saddening right? On my birthday!
Continuing my rant from yesterday, I think I finally got it. It doesn't matter to me anymore. True colors just spewed out from within and I witnessed it. People surprise me. People actually listen to me :)

*sigh* I'm craving some Korean BBQ right now. :( I want some. Read more

Friends?

"The only friend I need is myself"

So 9/11 means my birthday is tomorrow right? Right. So today I'm supposed to be having a little "get together" with my friends and I invited 13 of who I THOUGHT were my closest friends. Close? Not so much anymore. Only about most of them bailed out and now there are 4-5 left going. God this is stupid. I feel like I planned this forever. I made sure and asked them that today they would be free. All of them said yes. Which is why I planned it today. Epic retardation.

Especially if you make a promise. I EXPECT YOU TO KEEP THEM. I mean that's the rule right? If I ever make a promise, I will try my ultimate best to keep it. Otherwise you just made yourself another empty promise and you have no more credibility whatsoever. Also, if you break a promise you also lose my respect in the books.

Great Jesus. I know this rant just going on and on. But seriously I really thought I had solid friends. And I know it sounds like I'm blaming them for everything, but I think I should take part blame because I actually believed them.

Whatever. I'm over it. Lesson learned. Pick better friends in the future and not those who use you for random crap. KTHXBYE. Read more

My Wishlist

"Sometimes a dream is what makes us a slave"

So my birthday is coming up... THE COMING OF AGE. Adulthood. Does it scare me? No. Does it mean I'll finally stand up to that beast of a monster that I call mom? Maybe. Even greater news is that the perfect child will come here for Christmas. Oh joy. I have prepared my invisible coat, in case I ever need to hide of shame.

And my quote from above describes me completely. All throughout high school I was led to believe that my dream was one thing (be come the greatest doctor/humanitarian/awesomestpersonever) and I tried my hardiest by working my ass off in everything I did. I guess you can say I was "slaving" over what my mother wanted. (or what I believe she wanted anyways) Even now, when I have given up that dream for another dream. (don't worry, this one is my very own dream) I have to walk on eggshells not to upset my family. Am I dying inside? Yes. It's annoying to have my mom think I don't have any goals or aspirations. So she is pushing me to become a pharmacist. Sorry to burst your bubble mom, again, THAT IS YOUR DREAM. She always spys on me and tells me "not to play." Um. Hello. I'm almost 18, I don't even see my friends that often (that is also an issue), and I haven't been outside except for classes. What does she want me to be? A duplicate of you-know-who? I told my mom once I wanted to be an art major, and I'm sure she died inside. So now I'm working mechanistically to fulfill my "secret" dream that no one knows about. I'm taking a chance now. Let's hope it works out for the best.

AND ON A BRIGHTER NOTE... here are the things I want in the near future. I guess in a sense, this is a "wishlist for myself" (quite sad really)

URBAN DECAY NAKED PALETTE !
I totally adore the colors and eyeliner, but I'll probably end up using like half of them. OH WELL. A girl can dream can't she?


ANYTHING MAC RELATED.
Preferably the blushes. I love light, nude pink/peachy blushes. Just gives you a light glow without overdoing it. Ya know?


LAURA MERCIER TINTED MOISTURIZER IN NUDE
I tested it out, it's pretty light and gives a nice coverage. It could work well on my face. I guess I'll ask sephora for a sample. Too bad it's so expensive ($42!)



iPHONE 4
Nuff said. So smexy.


FOREVER 21 STUD&PEARL EARINGS
I've wanted these since forever. But just too lazy to get em.


PILOT G-2 05 LEAD PENCILS
My favorite lead pencils in life. You can never have enough of these. Read more