So many feelings...

I don't even know where to begin...

I guess I kind of went on a not-really a date yesterday? I mean we did visit the Griffith Observatory and like it was sort of romantic with couples all around us. I'm pretty sure he tried to make a couple moves the whole night & offered to pay for dinner. 

But the thing is...

It's not him, it's ME.

I mean I know it's a common phrase and everything, but really it is! He's a nice guy and I'm sure he did everything right. It's just that, I don't go for nice guys. Which really is my problem. I know the person is up to know good and we're bad for each other but it's like the hope that one day things change that keeps me going. Is it weird? Maybe.

Also, I guess I AM kind of leading him on? But attention is nice... for a change. It's weird because he accepts me... as me? Like the whole package. Weirdness and all. And I know I'm odd at times and it puts off a lot of people. But it doesn't seem to scare him off. He sees it as unique and interesting. 

Now I know how CHAIR (Chuck and Blair) shippers feel.

I'm a firm DAIR (Dan and Blair) shipper because THAT'S how a girl is SUPPOSED to be treated. He is SUPPOSED to be head over heels for her, have everything in common, and do everything to get her back. He also accepts who she is as a person, and doesn't try to change her or bring out the worst in her. He challenges her intellectually. He does not take her for granted because he knows she will always be there waiting for him. Yeah I'm hypocrite. I want a Chuck archetype in my life & won't settle for a Dan. I understand everything now.

Yeah, I really need to get a move on with my research stuff. It's like I don't know what to do... too scared. 

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WIth Poise, With Grace

So when I was reading the my book City of Bones a while ago, I came across this page:

 At first I was like SQUEEEGEEHEHEHEHEEH! IT'S IN LATIN I KNOW IT I TRANSLATED IT! SQUEEEHEHEHEHEHE.

And then I started thinking about all the good times in Latin class with my friends. Honestly, those are the memories I will forever remember. But I think I got a LOT more than learning Latin in that class. It gave me friendship, courage, and a bit of passion.

Regret is something I don't really will ever feel. Because if I do something it was my fault anyways. Learn from it and move on.

Even if someone pisses you off to a point where you wanna punch their face... well... Just keep your head held high and move on with poise and grace. Because in the end. YOU WIN. Read more

Class Class Class!

So today I had 5 HOURS OF CHEMISTRY. HOLY MOLY that was the longest 5 hours of MY LIFE. The professor, god bless his soul... TALKED SO FRIGGIN SLOW. It was like shoot me now please. But I kinda felt bad for him at the same time because apparently there were people who were making fun of him in the back. I hate people like that.

If you're going to think BADLY of someone. Do it in your mind, don't contaminate the world with it. Oh and I also hate people who make stupid snarky comments during class.

HEY PERSON.

1. You are wasting my time

2. You are not cool even if you are trying to be

3. SHUT UP

Oh turned out I didn't really need to "make" any new friends in chem because I saw some of my old high school friends. WOOHOO. I also met some new people too. But for some reason I have this curse where if I'm meeting a new person... Yeah I'll be myself. But obnoxious to the max. It's like I want to impress them or something. Stupid flaw. I know I don't NEED to impress anyone, but I feel like I should.

I will work on that.

Oh and I also "reconnected" with an old elementary buddy. One part I hate about going to this college is that I bump into people I know in elementary all the time. It just reminds me of what a bad kid I was. But I guess there are some other people from elementary that I can still talk to. (They don't hate me as much.) Like last semester it was the girl... and now this semester is a guy who knows the girl. GAH.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

I will take this with every bit of poise and grace. Because that is what good people do. I want to be a good person now. KTHX. Read more

So School Tomorrow huh?

I guess I should be a somewhat excited huh? Scared like a little girl is more like it.
Just kidding. I'm more "on the fence" about this because I dread school like any other person and I just want it to be summer. (FOREVER) :D


Dilemma: Should I go review my other stuff right now? Probably. Would be wise. I will later.

I realized I will be entering my first college science class alone. XD (but hey a chance to make friends perhaps. LIKE I SAID I WOULD?) Yeah okay. I don't think that's how it works with me.
I make friends in 2 conditions.

1. I'm REALLY REALLY hyper and I'm tired of being alone.
Then my sugar will kick in and I will randomly talk to the person next to me. (That's how I met my friend in sociology.)

2. I already have a friend with me. So we act stupid together then somehow get people around us to act stupid too. (Story of my life)

Only with these will I reveal my true self to other people. Otherwise I will sit there and stare at you with blank eyes and thinking to myself.



Here is to a new semester. *Raises glass* Cheers. Let's go 2011. Gimme whatchu got.
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HAPPY 2011! MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS!

First post of the year!

YAY! I'm glad to say that 2010 is over. Honestly it wasn't the greatest year. But I'm glad that I went through with it. Here's to 2011! And with that in mind, I have decided to make some "realistic" New Years Resolutions. I will check how many I've completed / attempted near the end of June.

So here they are:

1. I will update this blog more.
When I mean MORE, it's not really "daily" blog posts. But more on the lines of "more frequently." I think this will be an easy thing to do.

2. Stay off Facebook
I'm doing good so far. 3 Months "facebook free." But of course I sometimes have to sign on Facebook for random weird stuff. And I eventually deactivate it again. I must maintain my willpower.

3. Meet new people, Make new friends
The end of 2010 was an "antisocial" phase for me. It was really a chance for me to find out who I was and how to make MYSELF happy. Before I make someone else happy. I learned the hard way that even if you try your hardest to make OTHER people happy, (and you think that it would make you happy if you make other people happy right?) you will not be happy. I have learned to come to terms with myself and now I am ready to make friends again. (sort of?)

4. Be healthy
I'm sucha foodie and a sloth. I always eat and never exersise. Let's change that!

5. Learn more and Read more
I wanna know everything. Books, fashion, games, poltics, technology, celebrity gossip... EVERYTHING! I think I can accomplish this by reading more books/magazines/websites and such. I hope I have time. I guess my reasoning for this is that I wanna be able to go up to ANYONE and start a random conversation with them with my supermind. I guess most of the stuff I will know will never come in handy, but hey! At least if I am ever on Jeopardy, I'll be the best!

6. Be the best version of myself that I can be
I can accomplish this by holding less grudges. Helping other people; whether they are the less fortunate, or even my friends (if they TRULY need it that is!). Most importantly, be a better person. I want to find that spark that I once had (or maybe it's still in me that I never knew). But there was a spark in me once. I was fearless, bold, crazy, and full of love. Over the years, I guess it kinda died for a bit because I was overwhelmed by stress and bitterness. I am so blessed to be alive and with my loving family and friends. There are so many other people less fortunate than us in the world that I want to help. We never really think of these things on a daily basis of how lucky we are to be where we are today. When you eat a full meal, you never stop to think about the family who is starving halfway across the country. There are even kids who die from cancer everyday. You really have to take a moment and realize we are the lucky ones. We travel, we shop, we eat, we play, we learn. Simple things we take for granted that others would DIE to have. Sure there are times that you may complain, but in the end you will miss it once it is gone.

True, all the problems in the world can't be solved. But if you help one person, you could potentially save THEIR world. And isn't making an impact in at least ONE person's life good enough?

Selfish Selfish Selfish. We can't be selfish anymore. I can't be selfish anymore. Be the better person.





This new years resolution list officially became a rant. Stupid me. Maybe next post I'll do better.
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STOP ASKING ME THAT STUPID QUESTION!

Seriously people? SERIOUSLY PEOPLE?
Stop asking me "HOW MY LIFE IS GOING?" Because
A) It's really annoying
B) I can only say, "Oh nothing is going on really. HBU?" For SO FREAKING LONG.

YOU WANNA KNOW HOW MY LIFE IS GOING? HERE:


I SLEEP


I PLAY


I READ

I EAT


Are you happy? Did you really want me to say that?
Honestly, I hate being online on AIM because people always IM because they are bored. Not because they want to talk to me or anything. Talk to me because I'm important to you, not because I will keep you entertained. I'm invisible because I want people to go to that buddy list over there and type in my SN even if it takes THAT MUCH TIME AND EFFORT. That just means something to me.

Also. Don't talk to me every 1 week, 2 weeks, or a month. Because that just annoys the hell out of me.

CUPCAKE THEORY: You eat a cupcake (or a couple if you're like me) and then you're over that cupcake. Then a month passes and one day you see someone else eat that cupcake, then YOU'RE CRAVING it again. THEN you buy another cupcake and the cycle goes on.

I don't want to be someone's damn cupcake.


PS: I won't really call you people out on anything. Because I'm not like that. Just so you know these are my thoughts. (I'm trying to be something called a better person now)

-end rant- Read more

Friends?

"The only friend I need is myself"

So 9/11 means my birthday is tomorrow right? Right. So today I'm supposed to be having a little "get together" with my friends and I invited 13 of who I THOUGHT were my closest friends. Close? Not so much anymore. Only about most of them bailed out and now there are 4-5 left going. God this is stupid. I feel like I planned this forever. I made sure and asked them that today they would be free. All of them said yes. Which is why I planned it today. Epic retardation.

Especially if you make a promise. I EXPECT YOU TO KEEP THEM. I mean that's the rule right? If I ever make a promise, I will try my ultimate best to keep it. Otherwise you just made yourself another empty promise and you have no more credibility whatsoever. Also, if you break a promise you also lose my respect in the books.

Great Jesus. I know this rant just going on and on. But seriously I really thought I had solid friends. And I know it sounds like I'm blaming them for everything, but I think I should take part blame because I actually believed them.

Whatever. I'm over it. Lesson learned. Pick better friends in the future and not those who use you for random crap. KTHXBYE. Read more

My Wishlist

"Sometimes a dream is what makes us a slave"

So my birthday is coming up... THE COMING OF AGE. Adulthood. Does it scare me? No. Does it mean I'll finally stand up to that beast of a monster that I call mom? Maybe. Even greater news is that the perfect child will come here for Christmas. Oh joy. I have prepared my invisible coat, in case I ever need to hide of shame.

And my quote from above describes me completely. All throughout high school I was led to believe that my dream was one thing (be come the greatest doctor/humanitarian/awesomestpersonever) and I tried my hardiest by working my ass off in everything I did. I guess you can say I was "slaving" over what my mother wanted. (or what I believe she wanted anyways) Even now, when I have given up that dream for another dream. (don't worry, this one is my very own dream) I have to walk on eggshells not to upset my family. Am I dying inside? Yes. It's annoying to have my mom think I don't have any goals or aspirations. So she is pushing me to become a pharmacist. Sorry to burst your bubble mom, again, THAT IS YOUR DREAM. She always spys on me and tells me "not to play." Um. Hello. I'm almost 18, I don't even see my friends that often (that is also an issue), and I haven't been outside except for classes. What does she want me to be? A duplicate of you-know-who? I told my mom once I wanted to be an art major, and I'm sure she died inside. So now I'm working mechanistically to fulfill my "secret" dream that no one knows about. I'm taking a chance now. Let's hope it works out for the best.

AND ON A BRIGHTER NOTE... here are the things I want in the near future. I guess in a sense, this is a "wishlist for myself" (quite sad really)

URBAN DECAY NAKED PALETTE !
I totally adore the colors and eyeliner, but I'll probably end up using like half of them. OH WELL. A girl can dream can't she?


ANYTHING MAC RELATED.
Preferably the blushes. I love light, nude pink/peachy blushes. Just gives you a light glow without overdoing it. Ya know?


LAURA MERCIER TINTED MOISTURIZER IN NUDE
I tested it out, it's pretty light and gives a nice coverage. It could work well on my face. I guess I'll ask sephora for a sample. Too bad it's so expensive ($42!)



iPHONE 4
Nuff said. So smexy.


FOREVER 21 STUD&PEARL EARINGS
I've wanted these since forever. But just too lazy to get em.


PILOT G-2 05 LEAD PENCILS
My favorite lead pencils in life. You can never have enough of these. Read more

Shaved Ice (YUM!)

“You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see,
but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.”

So today I basically did NOTHING at school. YET AGAIN. AP week starts on monday :(
lets see the schedule in advance:
05/03/10: AP Poli Sci in the Morning
05/05/10: AP Calc AB in the Morning
05/10/10: HELL DAY. AP Music Theory in the Morning, then AP Physics in the afternoon. (I'm guessing I don't get to eat lunch...)

What AP am I most worried? I'd have to say Music Theory for reasons I cannot sing -___-. And perhaps physics for reasons that I suck at it. And for both of them to be on the same day causes me so much stress...

To much furtherado.. However today I did do something fun! I went to the GUPPY HOUSE with two of my friends (:! Had some shaved ice *drool* condensed milk is the best ever!
Here are the pictures!
YUM shaved ice as it came out!

:( not pretty anymore. NOMNOM time!

all gone :( hehe how did 3 girls manage to eat ALL of that? (we didn't! there was too much fruit so we had to take it in a cup!)

MM look at the yummy 85 cakes :o


So now I'm going to do something different. I'm going to do some type of random survey thing (: But I think I'll at least learn a little from it? LET'S GO! WOOOPAH!

Letters to ____

The Question: What have you been wanting to say to a person/people but haven’t found the time/will-power/ability to say yet?

The Idea: A reverse-anonymous question activity, but with a purpose; these letters can be anything, they might be rants of anger, pleas for apology, a simple “how are you” to a rarely seen friend but for some reason haven’t gotten to yet.

The Rules/Purpose: After writing, you may NOT let these writings simply gather dust. You took the time to write them, so think about it. Are some meant to be said? Are some meant to be thought over to consider yourself? A letter unread or at least thought over is just a waste of time.

The Hope: to help repairing/building/any-ing social connection just a little bit easier. Start Writing. Maybe there’s a letter somewhere out there meant for you.

Dear ______,

I would first like to start off by saying how much I admire you. You are my idol. I want to be like you, sometimes too much like you that I forget who I am. As a matter of fact, everybody loves you. But do you know how much anguish that you've caused me? I have to live up to high expectations that not only my parents put on me, but also I put on myself. I am my own worst critic and I beat myself over the worst of things. We all have flaws, we all fight for what we want. It is time that I fight for what I want and not how to beat you at the game of life. Okay fine, you win in this lifetime But just wait until the next one I will come back with so much more fire. And now all I want to be is happy. I know you don't try to be amazing, but can you tone it down a little so comparisons can stop being made. And when we are together it doesn't feel degrading. You have a great, innocent heart and no matter how many times you've shown to be humble, it is still a proven fact that you are so much more amazing that I am. And now it shames me to say now that I enjoy the fact that we can part ways now. I'm sorry.

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a little bit of sickness

Sick of being Tired, Tired of being Sick

The past week I ate went down with something funky. Sickness? Possibly. Stomach Flu? Maybe. Whatever it was I felt like gross inside.

Song of the moment:
I Believe In You - Tyler Hilton
Great song, and I guess inspirational in a sense.

After much deliberation throughout the week, I still could not fathom the idea of why I am currently so confused in heart, mind, and soul. It is probably because it's MARCH. The moment of truth comes out this month, and I guess I'm questioning my future. And I'm guessing my heart is distracting me from this harsh reality of growing up.

ON A BRIGHTER NOTE... Here is what I did not post last week due to my laziness/sickness:

A Week In Linda's Point of View:
Everyday I come to school at 7:00 AM. And this is my POV in the mornings. (yes it is bright I know)

I did some supercreeping. I saw this really cute asian boy with mismatch clothes. AHHA lime green helmet, blue pants, red shirt.

On Wednesday, I went out to support Make-A-Wish foundation by eating at VEGGIE GRILL. With Anna, Clarissa, Kumi, and Derek.

This is what I had, VEGGIE chicken nuggets and sweet potato fries *drool* and PUDDING. ANDD. Strawberry Ice Lemonade! YUMM! Too bad couldn't fully enjoy it. AKA sickness.


Then on Friday, I went to take Sticki Picki with my two oldest friends! (no not like 30 year-olds, as in LONG TIME BESTIES!)

Picture of one of the machines:

Pretty random, but when I went to Diamond Jamboree one time.. There was this Hobo sleeping next to our car. VERY SKETCHY.



Then Saturday I went to get MORE lollicup, take MORE sticki picki, and watched What A Girl Wants with the coolest people. (Ara, Kumi, Tiffany, and Paul) AND eat more 85 bread:

This is my bread that I never got to eat because Ara accidentally took mine: (mm honey cake)

And this is hers that I ate instead: But it was really good!




AND FINALLY
What did i do today? I donated blood. Therefore I saved 3 lives. WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY? Yeah donating didn't take as long as I thought it would. And I barely noticed. I was playing games and listening to music the whole time! Last time took me like 3 hours to donate blood. -__-
BATTLE SCARS!



AND now I'm done ranting for the day/week/whatever. And back to OMGPOP! And oh my. I am finished with my homework before 12 for once (: Maybe now I'll start Math and Latin....nahhh I'll just stick with OMGPOP! LATERS. Read more

food all day long

I think the story of my life pretty much sums up with FOOD ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT.
Like seriously. All my posts have food in them so far, but I can't help it :( I'm a hungry hungry viet girl with FOOD NEEDS!

So in the morning I went to this viet restruant called Binh Minh, which is in Garden Grove . I had to meet up with some uncles since we haven't seen them in quite a while.

For some reason, family no longer phases me. Well maybe THIS is just a phase. A really long one. I feel like I'm always being compared by some random family member. Which leads me to, I want to spend less and less time with them. My little cousins can sense my growing distance towards them even as they are growing up. They know how much I have loved them, and now wonder why "I am so boring." In truth, I guess I've always been this way. Lonely. Just lonely.

On a brighter note, MORE FOOD. So I had some Bun Vit Sao Mang, and Bun Cha HaNoi at the restraunt! (: nomnom.



Then, we went shopping at South Coast Plaza for some shopping. I did some stalking while I was waiting for my mom. Yeah BORED OKAY? An aerial view:

(: ME? WHO ME? I only did 20 dollars in damage! EHEHE YAY for deals. I got a grey cardigan from express for 6 dollars (originally 30 dollars!) and my fail camera phone gives it no justice of how cool it is it even has a hoodie!

Also from express, and also for 6 dollars, I got a really cool tank top! It has like a bunch of lace things in the middle which my camera does not show. Sadly:

Then I just got a plain, blue and white novcal-like-long-sleeve shirt for 7 dollars:

Lastly what I did today was go out to dinner to eat. At first I wanted to go eat sushi at some random Japanese place. But we never found it. So instead I suggested we eat at Koba Tofu House, which I have heard great things about. Man, eating there reminded me of BOF. Like re enacting my BOF life. Breaking the fish and eating all that kimchi (: They had pretty good Korean BBQ, and tofu soup. But oh my. Breaking the fish just reminded me of the time Gu Jun Pyo was at Jandi's house and her mom fed him the fish. Oh the random moments of life.
Blurry I know.

Deep thought for the day:
Why is it the world is so sad?

Are the happy people in life truly happy? Or are they deceiving the world, including themselves, and are trapped in an abyss of denial and sadness?

We may never know. Until then, I will wish them all the best of luck :/ And I may be included in this category at times, but I realize I am much more luckier than some, and it is time I learn to cherish that. Knowing me, I'm pretty stubborn.


And now, I am watching the Winter Olympics while playing OMGPOP. Lots of things to do tomorrow :( Loads of homework and no Monday off. WAHHH.
Up up and away!
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clubapalooza

Well anything interesting today Linda?
Not really, except for CLUBAPALOOZA!

Which as always, is FREAKING HECTIC! I was helping out with the Make-A-Wish stand which was selling PASTA AND GARLIC BREAD. YUM!
*drool* too bad I didn't get to have any! We practically sold out the first 30 minutes :( so sad. SO HECTIC. GAHH. People yelling at me for food, me not giving right amount of change. Pasta spilling everywhere. Oh well, this is my last clubapalooza ever! How sad. Times on bay so fast.

Eh not a bad day at all. Even though I stayed up til 3 AM last night. Probably because I was playing OMGPOP with a couple of friends. But I also had a test and a quiz today. :( Not like I study anymore anyways. Oh and what else. OH I got free boba from this girl:
All in good reason, she lost a bet a while back (: Oh dear she is so creepy she blurred out my camera! Lulz. So now we have a new bet. Which I will win again. SECURING ME MORE FREE BOBA! RAWR.


So now I will either:
A) Watch the Winter Olympics
B) Play OMGPOP
C) Watch Boys Over Flowers
D) All of the above

Probably all of the above. OH and also, after I got home, I went into a massive food coma and passed out. (I had eaten dumplings, drank boba, ate fondue, and a pretty awesome red velvet cake all for 6 dollars! Woot for cheap food at clubapalooza!) I had a pretty awesome dream if I recall. I can't really say here, but I assure you. It was amazing.
Which concludes me with:

Would you rather have your pride broken or have a broken heart?

Personally, I'd rather have my heart broken, because by now I have had my heart broken several times. And at least then I could walk away with a sense of pride and dignity left. And if you have your pride broken, what are you left? What is your pride worth? How much are you willing to sacrifice to save a broken heart? Who are your real friends? Are they with you forever, or would they leave you in a heartbeat?

These are the questions that linger in my mind at all times. Sometimes I really do not know.
So keep your head up high dearest people, AND KEEP ON TROLLIN! (I couldn't help it! If you know this reference. I will love you for life!) Read more

senioritis/procrastiation

"procrastination is like masturbation, you're only screwing yourself"

so true so true. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE DOING RIGHT NOW?
Physics homework & STUDY Calc/Do Calc homework & study Latin vocab
fun oh fun. I can't really pull myself to concentrate.
Currently I am eating mangos while watching YouTube videos :D this is the life.

Speaking of life, I reiterated some life lesson / went into a revalation.

The opposite of love and hate is indifference.
If you are looking to get over someone the best way to act is indifference. I think hating the person gets no where because all you do is tend to talk about the person even more. Making yourself think about the person.

Out of sight, out of mind
When you don't see the person, sure your heart aches for a while. But overall you will see you can live on without them. Oh and if you delete their facebook/aim make sure you also delete them from your mind (HA. learned that the hard way)

Oh the life lessons learned from watching BOF. Anyways going back to doing useless stuff again. FAREWELL. UNTIL NEXT TIME! dundun dunn. Read more