So many feelings...

I don't even know where to begin...

I guess I kind of went on a not-really a date yesterday? I mean we did visit the Griffith Observatory and like it was sort of romantic with couples all around us. I'm pretty sure he tried to make a couple moves the whole night & offered to pay for dinner. 

But the thing is...

It's not him, it's ME.

I mean I know it's a common phrase and everything, but really it is! He's a nice guy and I'm sure he did everything right. It's just that, I don't go for nice guys. Which really is my problem. I know the person is up to know good and we're bad for each other but it's like the hope that one day things change that keeps me going. Is it weird? Maybe.

Also, I guess I AM kind of leading him on? But attention is nice... for a change. It's weird because he accepts me... as me? Like the whole package. Weirdness and all. And I know I'm odd at times and it puts off a lot of people. But it doesn't seem to scare him off. He sees it as unique and interesting. 

Now I know how CHAIR (Chuck and Blair) shippers feel.

I'm a firm DAIR (Dan and Blair) shipper because THAT'S how a girl is SUPPOSED to be treated. He is SUPPOSED to be head over heels for her, have everything in common, and do everything to get her back. He also accepts who she is as a person, and doesn't try to change her or bring out the worst in her. He challenges her intellectually. He does not take her for granted because he knows she will always be there waiting for him. Yeah I'm hypocrite. I want a Chuck archetype in my life & won't settle for a Dan. I understand everything now.

Yeah, I really need to get a move on with my research stuff. It's like I don't know what to do... too scared.