Thoughts, Thoughts, Thoughts

I don't even know what to say or how to start this. So I guess I'll respond to my previous blog post. 

Dear past Linda,

Hey girl, thanks for the words of encouragement! I really didn't think I could really get through those moments. I don't think you will ever get rid of that anxiety, it's just who you are. You got into 4/5 colleges you applied to! Good job! And now you're at one of the most prestigious schools in America. So the future isn't all that bad.. except I'm "supposed" to be studying for finals right now. But we both know that we are major procrastinators. 

I'm sorry to say that you're still helping people that don't really need help. But this time it's different, those people are actually helping you back. So I guess it's a fair trade. You're just not as annoyed much by it as before.

Also, sorry again for telling you that I have once again let you down. I did go to like one "party" it was more of a hangout than an actual party. No, you did not get drunk. But to according to other people you got "buzzed," which I would like to concur. I don't think it was that much fun anyways, more for people to socialize. You are awesome.

I wish I still had your confidence in school. I feel like I'm losing it day by day... which it could be because I'm in a super smart school now.  O_O You were so sure of yourself and what you wanted to be and do. And now? I'm not so sure. 

I guess I'll end this by saying thanks.... you made me who I am today.

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A letter to my Future self.

I know I don't update this blog for anything.... But I had an epiphany over my spring break and well... I just had to get it off my chest somehow. And this was the only place I honestly felt "safe?"

So here it goes... This is a letter to my future self!

Dear future Linda,

First of all, I know you're going to be all right. But I can't quite shake the feeling of anxiety right now. But college stuff will all work out in the future... right?

Second of all, don't ever let yourself be used anymore. One of the good things about you is that you are smart. That in itself already impresses the hell out of people. You don't need to actually prove it to them by helping them. They are just using you silly. Help true friends. I know this might be a little hard to distinguish who your true friend is. But honestly, if you have to question it, they probably aren't your friend :p. 

Lastly, you are so lucky to be alive. Don't ever waste it. That means, don't go partying or drink to oblivion. Do you know how many chances there are in life? I know you've always wanted to try it... but it's not worth it! Resist the temptation! Stay pure! Stay awesome!

Most importantly, stay fckin classy Linda Tran. Godspeed.

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2011: A Reflection

Let's be honest for a second here... I didn't really do much in 2011. Nor did I expect much. All I wanted was to get by school. And I did just that. But just for fun, I'm going to refer back to my list of resolutions to see how many I've /almost/ completed. 

1. I will update this blog more.

Clearly, that was a fail from the beginning.

2. Stay off Facebook

I'll give this a 50%. I'm on it when I need to be... or when I'm feeling a stalkerish mood.

3. Meet new people, Make new friends

Hey look! Something that I did do. Yeah, even though they aren't really my "friend friends." I suppose the people in my classes are my acquaintances. I swear whenever I'm friends with someone from my classes, people always think I've been friends with them FOREVER. 

4. Be healthy

This one never stood a chance.

5. Learn more and Read more

YES! DING! I DID THIS. I'm so proud of myself. Well I'm kinda behind on my Wired and Time readings because of finals and stuff. But I'm going to dedicate a day to read them all! No worries. Anyways, I'm currently reading A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin. Such a frigging long book.

6. Be the best version of myself that I can be

I don't really know if I can be the judge of this. But, I believe that I really did stay true to my character. Even if I was a total bish towards the end of the year. 

So, here are my NEW 2012 New Years Resolutions:

This year I'm going to keep it short (heh, that's what she said). I think that 2012 is my year for change. 

1. Try new things

In other words, be spontaneous. I mean.. I used to be spontaneous before.. why can't I do it now?

2. Be healthy

Let's just keep this for the sake of keeping this in my mind.

3. Be the change you want to be

In 2011, I was the best person that I could be. Now, I want to take action for the person that I am. I'm sure I can accomplish this once I've done some volunteer work in Vietnam this summer. I'm looking forward to that the most in 2012.

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Baby Don't Cry

So I was listening to the new Big Bang song the other day..

Here you have a listen for yourself too:

It's called Baby Don't Cry. And it kinda got me thinking.

How often are you SUPPOSED to cry?

I think crying is healthy. Keeping all those emotions trapped up isn't really that healthy or good for you. Dr. Linda Tran says crying at least once a month is good! :D

I don't cry as much as I used to. Only because there isn't much to cry about these days. Parents? I don's start anything with them. Heartbreak? There is none.

I can't hold in my tears as good as I used to. Once the thought is in my mind I can't get rid of it. I try to get my attention somewhere else, but it eventually comes back to that thought and I have to let it go.

Is it just me or when people cry it's ugly. LOL I'm sorry if you think you're pretty when you cry... but you aren't.

This is what you want to look like:

This is how you really look:

Nuff said. Now go cry me a river.

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Sometimes I Don't Understand People ...

I don't understand people sometimes...

Like you do something douchebag-like. And you don't think I KNOW? Oh trust me, I KNOW. But I'm just nice enough not to call you out on it.

If it's something I hate, I HATE sketchy people. Got something to say? Say it to my face. I'm a big girl, I can handle it. Nothing gets passed me. I see everything. Don't be super sly like you so fly. Because you're only digging a bigger whole for yourself as a stupidass. Okay fine. You want to protect my feelings. How old am I? I don't care if you make me a little butthurt. Quite frankly, I'm even more thrilled and happy that you would tell me something. Be up front about it. I'm honest to the world for a reason.

Lies. LIES. ALL LIES. This is why I don't trust people anymore. This is why I choose not to have close friends anymore. People lie too much. Not even for good reasons. People need to drink a cup of tea and calm the heck down.

Important Note to Self: Disappointing people will continue to disappoint. Read more